There are 10,000 stories in the nekkid city. This is mine.

Name's Jack, just Jack. Not Jack Sprat or Jack B. Nimble or even Jill's Jack. Just Jack, that's me.

I woke up that morning with a splittin' headache. Must have been one hell of a party the night before, cuz there I was, layin' in some strange bed, buck nekkid wearin' only a couple-a bows on my ears.

Don't know how I got there, or why, didn't care.

I wasn't alone either. Next to me was this babe in a fancy white dress. I'd heard that her name was Toni. What a doll! I wondered just how I'd ended up being so lucky. I tried to get her attention, but she just sat there, starin' straight ahead, didn't even turn around, bat an eye or nuthin'. Something weird was goin' on.

I looked around, then realized we weren't alone in that bed.

Looked like the party was still goin' on. I tried callin' out to the pretty babe again. No dice. I still had cobwebs inside my head, so I closed my eyes and went back to sleep.

I must have really been out cold, because when I woke up, I was wearin' this frilly blue denim vest and still had those stupid bows on my ears.

Kinda girly, but at least it covered some...err...parts.

The pretty lady in the white dress was still sittin' there and I spoke to her again. This time she turned around, took one look at me and told me she didn't swing that way. Then she turned her head away and stuck her nose up in the air. I guess she thought I was a Jackie. Can't say I blame her.

Anyways, next thing I know, someone was tearin' that vest thing off of me and shovin' me into a pair of green courderoy overalls. Well, at least I looked like a guy again, so I decided to give that stuck up babe one last try.

This time she accepted my offer to cozy up for awhile.

But, in the end, she said that havin' a fling was okay, but anything serious would never work. She said she was just way too tall for me.

But, I'm okay with that. Besides, I already had my eye on another cutie who was sittin' up on top of the dresser. She has the prettiest brown eyes, a ballerina. Well, I always did really dig those dancer types, anyway.

So now I'm sittin' here with my girl, all decked out like the fine lookin' grizzly that I am, and not a buck nekkid bare bear or a femmed up girly bear, thank you very much.

And ya know what the best thing is? The friggin' bows are finally off. Yeah, life is good.