The hall we are entering leads to the Royal Wine Cellar. I do not care much for that room now. Why, you ask? Well, my favorite uncle, formerly Sir Richard, and I visited that room nearly nightly and drank from the discarded wine bottles.
Until one night, Uncle Richard had a little too much and stumbled into the path of the Royal Mouser - dastardly beast, she is. I have had a few run-ins with her myself. But that is another matter altogether.
Getting back to Uncle Richard, he was too snockered to hear my warnings and 'The Cat' had him as a late-night snack; may he rest in peace.
This room is my favorite . . . the Royal Kitchen. I see they left a piece of cheesecake for me. You must excuse me for a moment. I have not yet had my dinner . . . .
There now, that was a tasty morsel. The Queen's cook looks after me a bit - leaves me food and things. Last night he left me the better part of a full wedge of cheese. It took me nearly the entire night to eat all of it.
We best be moving along now. There are still several rooms to see.
The room in front of us? Oh, that is the Queen's bedroom. I do not get in there too awfully much because it is where 'The Cat' hangs out. Let us get out of here. I get goose bumps just thinking about her.
These stairs lead to the Royal Ballroom. You would not believe the parties I have seen. I recall one party that the Queen threw in here for the Prince of Whales. The room was decorated so beautifully that I became spellbound and walked right out into the open, where the Queen nearly stepped on me. Now, whenever I am in here, I must be very careful.
There is the stroke of midnight. That means the Royal Pool is empty. I usually do a few laps about this time of the evening. Care to join me? I have an extra pair of trunks . . . . Good, good. Come along then.
We must hurry. They lock it up in fifteen minutes. If I do not get in there before they lock the door, I have to go in through the Queen's bedroom, the home of that dreadful beast . . . . How is the water? I will join you in a moment. I must take my watch off first . . . .
The water is a bit tepid tonight, tolerable through. Shhhh. Someone is coming . . . . That will be Nigel, the night watchman. We had best be moving along. Follow me . . . .
This room is the Royal Sitting Room. I can only get in here on Sundays. They keep it locked the rest of the week; ever since the Queen's first cat died in here. I can't say I was sorry to see him go. He was even meaner than the one she has now. Come . . . . This way. I have something to show you.
Very few living beings know about this room. Back about a hundred years ago it was used as a refuge during the wars. The King and his family would come down here when the palace was attacked. My Father once told me a baby boy was born in here during one of those attacks. We had best be going now!
At the top of these stairs are the Royal Towers where the guards once stood watch. I am told many a brave man died up here defending the palace. In fact, one of my cousins died here. She was new here and got lost one morning, ended up here; the poor dear was afraid of heights, took one look down and keeled over dead. It is getting rather chilly. Let us go.
We must be very quiet in this room. It is the place where the traps are stored. One night in every month the Queen sets them out for me and I go around disarming them. Once she nearly caught me. I misjudged the timing on a trap and barely escaped with the cheese. Come to think about it, that was the best cheese she has ever served me. They will be along soon. Come on.
This hallway is where the Queen and I first met. She was coming from the west and when she saw me, she had a royal fit. The poor woman has hated me ever since. I do not understand why: I try to keep out of her way, I do not eat much and I am housebroken.
The room we are coming to is very special to me. It is the Royal Library. This is the room where I first met Princess Ann. She is the only one around here who treats me with the respect a Royal Mouse deserves. I even let her touch me once.
RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
IT'S THE CAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Whew. That was a close one . . . . We are safe now. Let me catch my breath. See what I must put up with. I am sorry but you must leave. I need my sleep. It has been good chatting with you. You must come again sometime.
The End