Mood:
sadTopic: Letting go
I lost a friend today. More than that. I lost a member of my family. He had been with me for nearly 13 years. Right now I am too sad to type his name, its just too painful. This is not the first time I have lost an animal friend. I have had many pets over the years and fully understand that they can never have the life span of a human. And each time I watch one of them grow from young to old, and then eventually pass on, a piece of my heart goes with them.
I guess I am lucky that none of them have met with violent deaths, at least so far. Each one has lived to a ripe old age and passed rather peacefully. This friend too went quickly. Unknown to me, he had an enlarged heart that caused a blood clot, that in turn blocked the blood and nerves in his legs. Literally, the day before yesterday he seemed fine...normal, doing what he always did. Then, that night I noticed him dragging his hind legs. The next morning, yesterday, I took him to a trauma center and was told to leave him. This afternoon the doctor called me and told me that he had passed. He told me about the x-ray findings and the attempts to dislodge and dissipate the blood clot. But suddenly my friend had what we humans call a heart attack, and died. I guess all the strange touching and proding and being with people he did not know frightened him. He always was a bit skittish.
My heart is broken. I didn't even get to say good-bye. I felt so bad leaving him, but what else could I do? I had to try. To give him a shot at getting better. On top of everything, the vet bill is over $1,000 plus what I will pay to have him cremated. Don't get me wrong, I would have paid three times that much and more to have him with me right now. But it was just not meant to be.
Why?
I guess I'll never know. It was just his time. I will miss him. I will always love him. And I will always have my memories.
Good bye my beautiful little black prince. I hope to see you again one day.
