The Happiest Place On Earth? Perhaps...
Mood:  d'oh
Topic: Mouse Tales

I work in the Magic Kingdom.  And it's my job to make sure our guests have the best time at WDW.  Let me tell you, oftentimes, its not easy.  I think many people come to the MK with an unreal perception of what to expect.  The following may sound like a rant, but it really isn't.  Its just reality....

Strollers ~ we move them around to keep them in some kind of order.  If we didn't, they'd be all over the place, blocking pathways and possibly being moved by other guests to some place far away from where they were originally parked, and thus be lost forever.  We're not responsible for things left in strollers, we can't possibly know who belongs to which stroller, so we make every effort to let guests know to take everything out of their strollers and keep things with them.  Mostly, that doesn't happen.  You know, its Walt Disney World.  Its safe.  Not!!

Lines ~ Guests love fast pass.  Guests hate fast pass. It's Disney.  Lines are going to be long no matter if one has a fast pass or not. But those on the standby lines may have a very long wait if the fast pass lines are long. Something to remember, the fast pass guests actually wait longer than the standby guests because most of the time, those fast passes were issued about two hours prior to their return time.  The difference is that fast pass guests did not have to wait on the line. They were able to use that wait time to do other things in the park.  Fast passes are free, and were intended for that purpose, to give guests time to do something else other than waiting for an hour on a long line.  You'd be surprised how many standby guests just don't get that concept.

GWD cards ~ these are supposed to be issued to guests who have disabilities in an effort to help them easily navigate our attraction entrances, however, the system is highly abused.  Why? Because many people know how to get around the system. In fact, due to the fact that no proof of disability is required for the card, way too many people get those cards simply to be expedited on the lines, and are in no way disabled, and then they have the nerve to complain if they have to wait a few minutes and/or are not escorted to the front of the line. But GWD cards are not fast passes, so there will be some attractions where there will be a wait, and since most of our fast pass entrances are also GWD entrances, fast pass lines will be longer and wait times increased for those on that line. Also, GWD cards are not honored at character meet and greets or parades and/or parade detours.  IOW, its not going to get a guest across the Liberty Square Bridge when its closed for a parade.  I can't tell you how many people have gotten mad at me, when they can't go where they want or do what they want after showing me that card.

Dress Code ~ we do have a dress code.  Its a family park.  You may not know it though.  People think, its Florida, so its ok to come to the park wearing a skimpy bra top and short shorts down to their hair line and up to their hips. In theory, its not ok, in reality however, it is.  And that's because unfortunately, our Security does not enforce our dress code.  About the only time they will is if someone is wearing a lewd t-shirt.  Then, they'll either ask the guest to turn it inside out or take it off.  And while I'm on the subject of dressing for Florida, it really riles me when I see infants and very young children in t-shirts and shorts during the winter.  Our winters are damp and cold.  It may be 60 degrees but the same thing that makes us hot in the summer...humidity...is what makes us cold in the winter.  Its bone chilling and those little kids HAVE to be cold.  Parents should bring something warm for their kids to wear or be prepared to pay a lot of money at the parks for sweats, hats and gloves.

Attraction policies ~ I won't get specific here because every attraction has its own set of rules.  I just want to say, I wish people would be more receptive when CMs explain our policies to them. There have been many times when I shook my head at guests who have tried to hop in or out of moving cars instead of waiting until those cars come to a complete stop.  Again, I guess they're thinking its Disney, its safe.  Uh huh....

Food & Shopping ~ yup, its costly. There's no way of getting around that. And, large coolers are not allowed in the park, so one pretty much has to buy food there. Souveniers are going to be expensive too.  I don't think we have more than a handful of items less than $5.  Most things cost $15 and up.  So those that come to Disney thinking they can eat and shop cheaply, should forget it.

Parades ~ As much as they'd like it, guests just cannot come to the parade route five minutes before step-off and get a curbside seat. If one wants a good seat, one really needs to be there at least an hour or more before. Its as simple as that.

Stage Shows ~ Vision will be obstructed for most, since everybody is standing and/or moving around. Guests who video, should be aware that parts of their taping may have a big head in front of their lense.  Also, speaking of taping, its not allowed in our 3D attractions.  The reason is not what most may think, its mostly because its annoying to the guests behind the taper, having to view the movie with the glare of the video screen in their eyes.  Also, if someone does manage to sneak a taping, they need to be prepared to view double images on their tape. Putting 3D glasses in front of the lense will not remove them.  Those glasses are made for two eyes, the video camera only has "one".

Well, I'm sure I've missed a few things, but I'm going to stop now.  This post really does sound like a very negative rant, and I don't mean it to be.  There are many, many wonderful things about vacationing at Disney.  The main one being the look in a young child's eyes the first time he or she sees one of the characters.  One of my fondest memories was of a young boy who ran joyously to Peter Pan's Flight just after the park opened one morning.  When he got there, he stood in the middle of the path, turned around to his family, opened his arms wide and said, "We're here!"  Its little happy moments like that one that make my day. That's what its all about, and I'm honored to be able to help make the magic.

Why I Love Dumbo AKA DON'T CROSS THE YELLOW LINE!
Mood:  chillin'
Topic: Mouse Tales
Wow! It certainly has been a long time since I wrote anything here!!! Well, lets see if I can play catch up really fast...

First of all, I did finally get a job. Now I too am a proud Disney Cast Member. The pay stinks. The work is not hard but physically draining. Its totally not worth it...BUT...it just happens to be the only gig in town. *shrug* Which leads me to the subject of my title today.

First of all, let me say that I work in Attractions. What that means is...I operate rides. I make Dumbo fly. I send you through Winnie The Pooh's storybook land. I send you into that dark place known as Snow White's Scary Adventures. I spin you in Alice's Teacups. And, I make you move all the way to the end of the row in Mickey's PhilHar Magic.

Actually, its a fun job. I get to interact with lots of people every day. The kids are great! The parents...well, MOST of them are great. Some of them...mostly men...are kind of grouchy. I have a theory about this. I think that Dads are not used to being around their kids all the time because most of them work during the day and only see their kids at night when they're pretty much wound down. They don't usually have to deal with the screaming, tantrums, spitting up, crying, demanding, etc, like Moms do (and yes, I do include the working Moms in this group as Moms are usually the primary care givers in the family unit, whether they are in the work force or not).

Anyway, back to grouchy Dads...here they are...workaholic men who finally manage to work in a two week or whatever vacation for themselves and family, and all of a sudden, they have to deal with all of the above PLUS endure our Godforsaken Florida heat and long lines at "the most magical place on earth". And its just too much for them. A lot of them are in management positions and are use to barking orders, so unfortunately, we Cast Members have to bear the brunt of their frustrations. Having to patiently deal with angry men getting in our faces over silly complaints, or adversity to Disney policies (i.e. parking strollers in specific areas, or having to finish their turkey legs before entering the theater, etc.) Let me tell you, I see a whole lot of men walking around the MK with that "I just wish this stupid vacation was over" look on their faces every day! LOL!

Now don't get me wrong here, I have also had to deal with my share of irritated Moms as well. Although usually those women convert their complaints into frantic pleas for rule bending. Let me give you an example of this. A few days ago I was in PhilHar Magic theater. Our policy is to make the audience move all the way across the row to the very end and then fill in every seat. There is good reason for this. If people stop in the middle, others will climb over them which is a safety hazard. Its also a pain in the ass for everybody who has to do it. Seating runs much smoother and faster if everybody just moves to their right. Since PhilHar Magic is a 3D movie on a super wide screen, you can enjoy it from literally EVERY seat in the house. But try to convince the audience of that while they are finding seats! Back to my story...as everybody is coming in, I spiel over the PA for them to move across and almost everybody is complying (a pleasant surprise I might add), everybody that is except for this one woman, who plops herself and her children smack in the middle of a row. I go over to her and ask her to get up and move down. Her response? "I have too many girls!!!!" I'm like..."huh?" So I asked her again to move down. Again she said, "No! I have too many girls!!!" Well I then realized she was trying to tell me it would be too much trouble to move all her kids down. So I said, "Ma'am, if you stay there, people will climb over your girls and they will be getting kicked and stepped on as people go by. Do you really want them to get hurt like that?" She said, "Then we'll just stand up!!! I'm not moving! I have too many girls!!!" And with that they all stood up and backed up as far as they could against their seats. I realized it was a losing battle and let it go. But what I wanted to say to her was..."How strange. You have too many girls to move to the end of the row, yet you had no problem getting them to the middle, huh?!?!" But, I couldn't. *sigh* Ahh well.

I've also had my share of heart attacks as well at Snow White's. I am amazed that some parents do not hold onto their kids while waiting for their mine car to reach the load area. I've had so many kids cross the yellow safety line and dart out towards moving cars, causing me to emergency stop the ride, so as to prevent injuries, that I just want to scream, "WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU STUPID PEOPLE???? CAN'T YOU SEE THAT CAR IS MOVING??? HOLD ONTO YOUR KIDS FOR GOD'S SAKE!!!!!" But...I can't. *sigh* So I stand there with my hand over the E-stop and have little heart palpatations every time kids approach the load area.

But Dumbo...ahhh Dumbo, bless his little heart. Now THERE is a ride!!! Dumbo is just your average carnival ride, yet people with kids (and adults alone too) always want to ride him. They will stand in line for an hour, in the hot Florida sun, and never complain. And right before I begin my safety spiel (buckle seat belts, etc), I always say, "Good (morning, afternoon, evening) everyone and welcome to Dumbo! ARE YOU READY TO FLY???" And they always yell back "YEAH!!!!!" with so much enthusiasm that I just have to grin. :) I mean, how cool is that? Waiting all that time just to ride your average carnival ride and still so pumped that they almost fly to the Dumbo cars themselves! LOL! So yeah, I love Dumbo. Working Dumbo is hot because there is no shade, and you're constantly moving collecting tickets, etc. but I love him. Out of all the rides that I operate, he's my favorite.

I get to move about alot during the day as they rotate us through positions every hour or so. So, I'm not actually making the rides run all day. At least the day goes fast. And all this walking around really got me in shape! And even though it doesn't pay much, its cool to work in the Magic Kingdom and see just how they make the magic happen. ;) How *I* get to make the magic happen. ;)

One of these days I'll have to tell you about one of my other positions that I groan every time I get it. I like to call that assignment, ADVENTURES IN STROLLERLAND. But...that's a story for another day. :)