A December Time Of Year
Mood:  chillin'
Topic: Florida Lifestyle
Have I ever mentioned how much I love Florida Decembers? Well, I do. This is the nicest time of year down here weatherwise. Not much rain, humidity is down, temps are cooler...its all good.

I love Decembers because I can finally be comfortable outdoors. Sometimes I can wear short sleeves and sometimes I need a light jacket, but no matter which, the cooler weather is most certainly that proverbial breath of fresh air! I love Decembers because I usually only have to mow my lawn once during the month. LOL! I love Decembers because everybody (including me) decorates their houses with wonderful Christmas lights and other lawn ornaments. I love Decembers because here in Florida, December is Fall, and the leaves on the trees are starting to turn into their firey Fall colors. I love Decembers because my grapefruits and oranges are finally ripe enough to pick and eat! LOL! But most of all I love Decembers because it means my little family and I have made it through another year, still alive, still healthy, still here. :)

Each new year down here brings new challenges and many changes. 2006 will certainly be a year of much adjustment for us. But more about that in another entry.

Next week I train on the the remaining attractions in Fantasyland. I'll be learning to run Peter Pan, Small World and the Carousel. And after I feel comfortable about running those rides, since I will then be fully trained on all the attractions in Fantasyland, I plan on talking to my managers about possibly becoming a trainer myself, or a training facilitator (one who takes new CM's around and gives them an overview tour of Fantasyland and what their role there is). If I am successful in obtaining that goal, it will mean a little more money. I will still have to work long hours in order to make enough for us to continue to live here, but at least there will be a bit more breathing room.

Anyway, I do love Decembers down here. And next up...the challenge of Christmas in Walt Disney World, where 50,000 to 60,000 guests per day will be visiting us during the Holiday season, all with their own particular ways of enjoying their vacations...and all who most probably will be giving us CM's a whole lot to talk about at the very least! LOL!

RAGE
Mood:  don't ask
Topic: Poetry/Prose
holding back because I have to
why?
because its beyond my control?
because if I don't I'll hurt someone I love?
or maybe
because nobody really cares
and why should they?
its not their problem

wanting to scream
wanting to pound my fists into the wall
wanting to jump in my car and drive
far, far away
maybe I'd come back
maybe not
but I can't

hating my helplessness
what do you do
when what's done is done
and cannot be undone?

you just accept the unacceptable
you try to pretend normalcy
even when everything is anything but
you take a deep breath
and rethink
and reroute
and reschedule

then, in the dark
in your own private space
you cry
because you know
nobody will hear you
no one must ever suspect
no one must ever know
that your strength is faltering

must maintain courage
for those who look to you for guidance
for those who depend on you
for those who need you
but who do you turn to
when you need?

that question goes unanswered
and always will
and so you hold your rage inside
battling to keep the volcano from exploding
while battling to hold it all together
for those you love
because you
are all they have
and they
are all you have

and so you hope
that somehow
it will turn out alright

why do we think if we're bad in life
we'll go to Hell
when Hell is right here and now?
there is no Hell to fear
we're damned to stay among the living
until we atone enough
to die and go to Heaven
maybe...

Why I Love Dumbo AKA DON'T CROSS THE YELLOW LINE!
Mood:  chillin'
Topic: Mouse Tales
Wow! It certainly has been a long time since I wrote anything here!!! Well, lets see if I can play catch up really fast...

First of all, I did finally get a job. Now I too am a proud Disney Cast Member. The pay stinks. The work is not hard but physically draining. Its totally not worth it...BUT...it just happens to be the only gig in town. *shrug* Which leads me to the subject of my title today.

First of all, let me say that I work in Attractions. What that means is...I operate rides. I make Dumbo fly. I send you through Winnie The Pooh's storybook land. I send you into that dark place known as Snow White's Scary Adventures. I spin you in Alice's Teacups. And, I make you move all the way to the end of the row in Mickey's PhilHar Magic.

Actually, its a fun job. I get to interact with lots of people every day. The kids are great! The parents...well, MOST of them are great. Some of them...mostly men...are kind of grouchy. I have a theory about this. I think that Dads are not used to being around their kids all the time because most of them work during the day and only see their kids at night when they're pretty much wound down. They don't usually have to deal with the screaming, tantrums, spitting up, crying, demanding, etc, like Moms do (and yes, I do include the working Moms in this group as Moms are usually the primary care givers in the family unit, whether they are in the work force or not).

Anyway, back to grouchy Dads...here they are...workaholic men who finally manage to work in a two week or whatever vacation for themselves and family, and all of a sudden, they have to deal with all of the above PLUS endure our Godforsaken Florida heat and long lines at "the most magical place on earth". And its just too much for them. A lot of them are in management positions and are use to barking orders, so unfortunately, we Cast Members have to bear the brunt of their frustrations. Having to patiently deal with angry men getting in our faces over silly complaints, or adversity to Disney policies (i.e. parking strollers in specific areas, or having to finish their turkey legs before entering the theater, etc.) Let me tell you, I see a whole lot of men walking around the MK with that "I just wish this stupid vacation was over" look on their faces every day! LOL!

Now don't get me wrong here, I have also had to deal with my share of irritated Moms as well. Although usually those women convert their complaints into frantic pleas for rule bending. Let me give you an example of this. A few days ago I was in PhilHar Magic theater. Our policy is to make the audience move all the way across the row to the very end and then fill in every seat. There is good reason for this. If people stop in the middle, others will climb over them which is a safety hazard. Its also a pain in the ass for everybody who has to do it. Seating runs much smoother and faster if everybody just moves to their right. Since PhilHar Magic is a 3D movie on a super wide screen, you can enjoy it from literally EVERY seat in the house. But try to convince the audience of that while they are finding seats! Back to my story...as everybody is coming in, I spiel over the PA for them to move across and almost everybody is complying (a pleasant surprise I might add), everybody that is except for this one woman, who plops herself and her children smack in the middle of a row. I go over to her and ask her to get up and move down. Her response? "I have too many girls!!!!" I'm like..."huh?" So I asked her again to move down. Again she said, "No! I have too many girls!!!" Well I then realized she was trying to tell me it would be too much trouble to move all her kids down. So I said, "Ma'am, if you stay there, people will climb over your girls and they will be getting kicked and stepped on as people go by. Do you really want them to get hurt like that?" She said, "Then we'll just stand up!!! I'm not moving! I have too many girls!!!" And with that they all stood up and backed up as far as they could against their seats. I realized it was a losing battle and let it go. But what I wanted to say to her was..."How strange. You have too many girls to move to the end of the row, yet you had no problem getting them to the middle, huh?!?!" But, I couldn't. *sigh* Ahh well.

I've also had my share of heart attacks as well at Snow White's. I am amazed that some parents do not hold onto their kids while waiting for their mine car to reach the load area. I've had so many kids cross the yellow safety line and dart out towards moving cars, causing me to emergency stop the ride, so as to prevent injuries, that I just want to scream, "WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU STUPID PEOPLE???? CAN'T YOU SEE THAT CAR IS MOVING??? HOLD ONTO YOUR KIDS FOR GOD'S SAKE!!!!!" But...I can't. *sigh* So I stand there with my hand over the E-stop and have little heart palpatations every time kids approach the load area.

But Dumbo...ahhh Dumbo, bless his little heart. Now THERE is a ride!!! Dumbo is just your average carnival ride, yet people with kids (and adults alone too) always want to ride him. They will stand in line for an hour, in the hot Florida sun, and never complain. And right before I begin my safety spiel (buckle seat belts, etc), I always say, "Good (morning, afternoon, evening) everyone and welcome to Dumbo! ARE YOU READY TO FLY???" And they always yell back "YEAH!!!!!" with so much enthusiasm that I just have to grin. :) I mean, how cool is that? Waiting all that time just to ride your average carnival ride and still so pumped that they almost fly to the Dumbo cars themselves! LOL! So yeah, I love Dumbo. Working Dumbo is hot because there is no shade, and you're constantly moving collecting tickets, etc. but I love him. Out of all the rides that I operate, he's my favorite.

I get to move about alot during the day as they rotate us through positions every hour or so. So, I'm not actually making the rides run all day. At least the day goes fast. And all this walking around really got me in shape! And even though it doesn't pay much, its cool to work in the Magic Kingdom and see just how they make the magic happen. ;) How *I* get to make the magic happen. ;)

One of these days I'll have to tell you about one of my other positions that I groan every time I get it. I like to call that assignment, ADVENTURES IN STROLLERLAND. But...that's a story for another day. :)

Adventures In Pressure Washing
Mood:  quizzical
Topic: Florida Lifestyle
I picked quizzical as my mood because they don't have an emoticon for tired . Wonder why?

Anyway...

Today was my third day of standing in the hot sun with a high pressure washer, trying to make my dirty black sidewalk and driveway white and gleaming again. Doing this job, doesn't give you a chance to do anything else at the same time. You can't look around, or you'll have high pressure water flipping all over the place. You can't talk to anybody, because the gas engine makes more noise then a lawn mower so you can't hear a thing anybody says to you, and you can't move around too much while you're washing or else you'll skip spots, so, you pretty much have a whole lot of time to think up weird stuff and stupid questions while you stand there pretty motionless sweeping the ground with lots and lots of water. But hey, look at the up-side! After you're done, you can go to your blog, and bore other people by writing about how boring pressure washing is! LOL!

Seriously though, I have to wonder how concrete can get so god-awful black in a state where the sun shines so much and so brightly. I mean, you would think that the sun would bleach out any stains and the driving rain would scrub away all the dirt so that concrete would always be blindingly bright! But no, that's not the way life is down here. I think I know why it happens though now that I've seen my CLEAN concrete. It's because its not really concrete. Its a mixture of concrete and pebbles, so there are many little crevices in the surface. And when it rains, the dirty run-off keeps getting trapped in those crevices, until viola! You've got a black sidewalk! So, in order to keep your sidewalks spotless and your driveways clean, one must either hire someone at great expense to pressure wash them, or do it yourself. And...well...times being as they are, I chose the latter. :)

There really isn't much to learn about pressure washing. Basically you just have to keep putting gas in the tiny gas tank, keep your eyes to the ground to make sure you're getting everything and move the pressure wand back and forth. Its kind of like sweeping with water. Now, I admit, that doing that for hours and hours can make you kind of antsy and maybe even a bit looney. And I also admit that I found myself using that water to write my name and other assorted expletives on the dirty concrete more than once! LOL! But now that I'm all done, looking at that pretty, clean concrete makes it all worthwhile. And wow did I get a tan! ROTFL! It also makes me half want to go into business hiring myself out to do this. I mean, it ain't THAT bad!!! Heck, I can make 200 bucks or more a house! But...nah...I'm getting too old for this sort of thing. *sigh* Besides, I am not at all finished playing with my new Florida toy...I still have to pressure wash the used-to-be-white vinyl fence that surrounds my property. I just hope that black snake I've seen hanging out back there doesn't decide it wants a cool shower...

Come on down!!!
Mood:  cheeky
Topic: The American Way
I wasn't sure if I wanted to put this post under "Livin' Large At Walmart" or "The American Way". Well you know how I went. ;)

Anyway, when I was a very little girl, there used to be a commercial on TV with this guy wearing a loud Hawaiian shirt and goofy fishing hat, telling everybody how wonderful Florida was. And, he always ended the commercial by saying, "Come on down!" I guess back in those days Florida was desparate for people. Not anymore.

Today I was in Walmart and as I mentioned in a previous post, ours is a Super Walmart, so you can get just about anything there from grass seed, to clothes to food. I noticed several different people with carts piled up with buckets, mops, cleaning supplies, bedding sheets, trash cans, tea kettles, well...you get the picture. These people are definintely not here for vacation. In fact, you can always tell when people first move here, because you always see them pushing carts filled with all sorts of basic household stuff around the Walmart. They wander around, in no particular pattern, mostly because they don't know the store layout, searching for whatever it is they need to set up their new home.

I know this because...a little over a year ago, I was one of them, pushing my cart around, selecting this and that, spending lots of money in order to make my new house "mine". Its different now. I don't have to buy a bunch of cleaning supplies, I only have to replace them when I run out. And I don't have to buy bedding sheets, unless I want new ones, and I have enough garden decorations, so I don't have to buy any of those unless something strikes my fancy. Nowadays, my cart mostly gets filled with pet supplies, people food, and the occasional article of clothing that we may need.

Gone is the excitement, gone is the newness, gone is the exhilleration of thinking that we live in Paradise. Because...I know better now. This isn't Paradise and the only excitement I've had is the constant worry about how to make ends meet. This place has become simply...where we live. A house, in a neighborhood, in a local municipality, just like thousands of others here in the U.S. Its just...home.

Once you live here, you forget about The Mouse, you don't even want to go near the touristy areas if you can help it, because there is simply too much of...TOO MUCH!!!! Eventually you get used to it all, because its part of life, but you never perceive this area as the rose colored vacation mecca that you once did...at least I don't, and others I know who have migrated down here echo my feelings.

As for those Walmart shoppers today...I can only hope that those people pushing those carts around, have had the sense to line up a job already, and aren't thinking that they'll just get one after they settle in. Because it just ain't gonna happen...at least, that's the way of it for a lot of us who move down here first and go job hunting later.

Well, I hate to end this post on a down note, so I will say this...my hope is not gone. I still hope that one day I won't have to do this, to scratch out an existence and live with constant worry and struggle through sleepless nights, only to wake up and stay exhausted all day from doing...nothing.

One day things are going to change. One day maybe I'll feel like Florida really is Paradise and who knows, then...maybe I'll even be telling all of you to...

Come on down! :)

A Teaspoon Of Sugar....
Topic: The American Way
If we had a teaspoon of sugar to help our medicine go down nowadays, the entire population of America would be insanely fat and bouncing off the walls!

Now, I've never been a big TV watcher, but since I've been unemployed, I do admit to watching the tube a bit more than I used to. You know, in the morning with breakfast, then again at noon and of course, at suppertime. I even watch an occasional movie during the day when I'm out of other things to do.

Anyway, I've noticed that for the large part of the day, just about every other advertisement is for some kind of drug. There are pills to keep you from getting heartburn, pills to keep you from peeing yourself, pills to lose weight, and how can we forget those pills that help you have sex. *wink wink* *RME*

My point is, we are becoming a drug addicted society. Drug addiction isn't only for those nasty crack addicts out on the streets anymore. Drug companies have become the Drug King Pins of America, with Doctors as their Pushers. Can we say, "Valley Of The Dolls" anyone?

But wait, it gets worse! Because for every one of those wonder drugs being hawked on TV, there is a myriad of side effects to go along. Now let me just throw something out here. If you had a problem with frequent urination, would you run the risk...and probability...of suffering headache, constipation, nausea, sleeplessness, etc, etc, just to keep from running to the bathroom? Or would you save yourself from all that discomfort AND money, and just take note of where the nearest bathrooms are when you're out?

I rest my case.

So the people who hawk sexual stimulants with their winking, eyebrow raising and "come hither" looks can go jump in a lake as far as I'm concerned. Let people find out the CAUSE of their sexual inadequacies and work them out NATURALLY.

And if you're overweight, don't spend $150 on some pill that probably has undisclosed diet restrictions and exercise requirements to help make it work...instead, take a good look at what you are eating, and how much exercise you get and change your lifestyle.

And don't EVER take a pill to keep you from peeing. Drink more water, pee ALOT and never lose sight of the bathrooms!!! Because believe it or not, PEEING is a very healthy natural function. It flushes out your system thereby ridding you of all the impurities AND fat that you want to get rid of anyway!

Don't take the easy way out...look for the cause, identify the problem (if there even is one) and remedy it as naturally as you can, or you too just may end up sitting in your home, zoning out, just counting the minutes until your next Viagra fix.

Oh yeah...you might want to save that teaspoon of sugar for your morning coffee...

Roadside Memorials
Mood:  irritated
Topic: The American Way
Okay today I'm doing a two-fer. Why? Well, just because I've been meaning to write about this particular topic and I keep getting distracted, so I'm doing it now.

One of my biggest pet peeves is seeing those roadside crosses with tacky plastic flowers and dollar teddy bears wherever there has been a wreck. I have to pass one of those every time I take my kid back and forth to work, and every time I do, I shake my head, because its still there, day after day, week after week, month after month. Its a multiple memorial too. I guess a couple of people died in that crash. Anyway, all that stuff has been up there for at least 9 months now, maybe longer.

This is a sensitive subject, I know. So I am not making light of other's losses or tragedies. Its horrible to lose a loved one. And I totally understand the need to remember them, but in my opinion, this is not the way.

Permanent memorial markers belong in cemeteries, not along the roadside. For one thing, passing one is a distraction to drivers, who look to the side and as a result, can end up getting in a wreck themselves. For another thing, its depressing as hell to see. And lastly, unless one has permission to erect a memorial, its illegal. That property is owned by someone, be it a private owner or state or local government, and nobody has a right to erect anything on it without permission.

There was a case right here in Florida last year where a terrible crash occurred right on someone's front lawn. The relatives and friends of the victims erected a huge memorial with lots of tacky stuff right in the middle of some guy's front lawn. He was interviewed on tv and was very gracious about it all, saying how tragic the accident was, but I'll bet he was seething inside. Afterall, every time he looked out his front window, that's what he saw. Every time someone passed his house, that's what they saw and ever time someone came to his home for whatever reason, that's what they saw. And that just isn't right. I have no idea if the memorial is still there, but if it was me, I would have told those people to hit the pike and take their cheesy crosses with them.

Anyway, bottom line here is that if roadside memorials are to be legally permitted, then there should be some rules. Rules like, you can't put one on someone's front lawn, and that they can only stay up for a certain period of time, say...a couple of weeks, and lastly that they have to be respectable and small, with no tacky plastic plants or cheap bears.

I'm sure there are probably many people who don't agree with me and think I am absolutely horrible for saying all this, but tough! Its how I feel. And its what I would do, if God-forbid, someone ever died on my front lawn.

Assembly Required
Mood:  incredulous
Topic: The American Way
Well today I was browsing through a Sears Catalogue that came in the mail yesterday. There was lots of nice stuff in there, stuff that I might actually buy if I had the money. Yup, page after page of beautiful stuff. But it was expensive! And right there, in every description, was the dreaded "assembly required".

You know, I really resent that I have to assemble almost every piece of furniture I buy. What ever happened to the good old days when you could go out and buy furnture already assembled? There aren't too many furniture stores anymore. Mostly, people buy furniture from places just like Sears or Penneys or even Walmart because they want to save money. But do they really?

Lets just take a look at one of these pieces in the catalogue. What I have in front of me is an underbed dresser system. Its not what I'd buy, but its a good example of something people might like to have. Of course there are various ways you can construct this thing. You can have from 3 to 6 drawers, with or without a headboard, finished in oak or pine or unfinished. For my test, I'm going for the whole she-bang. So my choice would be a finished (more expensive) oak, 6 drawer unit with a California King headboard. Here's how it stacks up:

6 Drawer Oak Finished - $499.99
California King Headboard - $389.99
Total So Far - $889.98

And that's without a box spring or mattress. Add them in and add in my own blood, sweat, and frustrated labor and we're talking somewhere around $1400 to $1500 to complete the job.

Is it worth it? Nah...

So what is my point? My point is that nowadays you have to pay through the nose to have beautiful furniture, AND, then put the damn things together yourself! Better to get a bunch of pillows and just sit on the floor.....

Been There Done That
Topic: Livin' Large At Walmart
Ahhh yes, the American dream store. Walmart. Better yet, the Walmart Supercenter! What did we ever do before Walmart was born?!?!?

So, today I exercised my right to shop at a discount. You know, there was a time when I wouldn't dream of shopping at Walmart for anything other than maybe household items like sheets or small appliances like a toaster or a cheap microwave. But, these days, things being as they are financially, it seems like my life revolves around going to Walmart. Pathetic, isn't it?

Don't get me wrong. I am not, nor did I ever, look down my nose at Walmart, or K-Mart or Bradlees, or any other discount department store. In fact, I used to practically live at a store called Clover, which was the discount version of its upscale parent, Strawbridges in Philadelphia. But Clover died years before I moved down here to the Sunshine State, and Bradlees followed in Clover's footsteps. Too bad, I loved both of those stores. I never cared much for K-Mart. Can't explain why. Maybe its that old comedic cliche, "Attention K-Mart shoppers, we have a blue light special in Aisle 3 for the next 10 minutes." Made the place seem rather cheap and tacky. And although Walmart doesn't announce blue light specials, they have their own promotional spiel in the guise of their little smilie faced "roll back" guy. Yeah, he's cute, but you know, his rollbacks really ain't no big thang...

Anyway, here in the land of The Mouse, where one has to travel miles to buy the necessities of life, having a Walmart open less than a mile away from where I live was...admittedly...a bit of a God-send. They did their market research well. Since that store has opened, I'm guessing that they are making big bucks hand over fist. I can tell you from experience that its always packed, no matter what time of day. I think I read on some vacation forum somewhere that the people from the UK just love coming to America and going to Walmart. Living in this tourist driven area, I can certainly believe that. Why even I have actually bought...*cringe*...*ugh*...(I can't believe I'm actually admitting this)...some clothes and shoes and purses! Heaven help me! Never, in all of my life did I ever think I'd be going to Walmart to buy my wardrobe!!!!

So, today I ventured out to get a myriad of supplies. Hey, I can do that since its a Walmart Supercenter! LOL! While I was pushing my shopping cart through clogged aisles, I heard something that I hadn't heard in years. There was an announcement about a last chance to get a free steak knife in the middle of the store...no purchase necessary! Boy, did that bring me back. I didn't think they did those demonstrations anymore! I didn't go for the free knife, but I did have to pass by the demo on my way to the food section, and when I did, I snorted in laughter. You see, the guy up there was spieling exactly the same way, you know pounding the knife on a table to show how unbreakable it is, and cutting all sorts of uncutable items and such...and probably using just about the same script...as they used to do when I was a little girl.

Ahh the Circle Of Life. Some things never change.

Bradlees is dead. Long live Walmart!

Hallelujah Brothers and Sisters. We are saved.

Birds of a Feather
Mood:  quizzical
Topic: Letting go
Well I was going to post this yesterday, but I got really busy. Don't ask me what I was doing, because I really don't remember. I just remember that all of a sudden it was time to go turn in.

Yesterday I saw this crane family that roams around my little subdivision. I've seen these birds since I moved here last year, only then there was only two, a male and a female. I don't know exactly what kind of cranes they are, but they are big...nearly 5', and they always travel together. I've been told that they mate for life. Anyway, I hadn't seen them all winter, and then the past couple of weeks I've seen them with two little ones. They're so cute! When I first saw them, the babies were kind of pinkish, but now they are beginning to get their natural brown feathers.

What struck me is how these big birds seem to be almost oblivious to what goes on around them. Don't get me wrong, they do get scared once in awhile, in fact, when I first saw them my Golden Retriever spooked them terribly when she tore out the door after them. But, for the most part, they just wander around the neighborhood and seem to be pretty people friendly, even with the addition of the little ones.

It will be interesting to see just how long these juveniles stay with their parents. As I said, I don't know much about these big Florida cranes, but I'm guessing that the young ones stay with their parents for quite some time.

Now to get to my topic...letting go. For most of us humans, letting go is very hard to do. In the animal kingdom, parents (or in most cases the mother) always know the proper time to let their offspring go out on their own. They teach them how to survive, take care of them while they are helpless, and then, at that perfect moment, when they know their young no longer need them, they let go and in most cases, never see them again.

Humans, OTOH, have a hard time knowing that perfect moment. I guess its because we think more, read in between the lines more, worry more. We raise our kids and even if we know we did the right thing, we still hesitate in letting them make those first grown up decisions by themselves. I guess partly its because we dont' want to lose them. Afterall, up until that point, we've spent all of their lives with them, and have hopefully formed a very strong bond. And partly, I think its because even though we've shown them the path, we still worry that we didn't do enough, that we didn't take everything into account, or prepare them for anything, no matter how remotely possible, to happen to them.

Recently I have had to learn to let my daughter go. She isn't going anywhere physically, but it was very hard, and still is, for me to let her make her own decisions, not to interfere, not to give her "the mom look" when I don't exactly agree. But, she's 17 and she needs to learn to find her own way. And she's a good kid, and has a good head on her shoulders and I know she'll make it. But the big question is...will I?